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On the tail end of Graduation...

... I'm feeling pretty tired. I live a couple of days travel away from the school where I got my degree and travel takes a lot out of me. During my final week, I also ran into a situation where my neurodivergence bit me on the tail. Though I didn't know until the night of my graduation what an administrator had said to me, what I read cast a shadow over my graduation that shattered a lot of my feelings about the experience. For a while, it spoiled my memories. I was very sad.

My point is, sometimes fundamental differences in how our brains function create conflicts that cannot be avoided. Often I get in trouble because there is an 'acceptable way' to talk about things and I... didn't get the memo. On a genetic level. If that 'acceptable way' doesn't intersect with my observed reality, I'm often sunk. This often happens when my opinions are asked, and I believe that is because some divergent people are not well-wired for making-nice or fibbing/lying. At those times, I find neurotypicals (I call them neuro-classics) will be outraged and blame neurodivergents for their opinions.

Some neuro-classical people assume they have every right to ask, but to them, it doesn't follow that the neurodivergent has the right to answer. Somehow, the neurodivergent must follow a neuro-classical script they don't even know. It's confusing.

Like many neurodivergent people I don't "small talk", and avoid personal or direct questions because my only option is to tell the questioner what I really know or think. Folks, it's times like these that I wish I could tap out. Because, apparently, there is heat. It is a kitchen. And some people should stay out of it.

This note goes out to my Neurodivergent readers and writers: Don't let the people asking you what you think put the screws to you because you answered them.

It's not all you, ND friends. If people don't want to know, they need to find the courage and the insight not to ask.

For my wonderful neuro-classical thinkers and readers, make no mistake, you are so welcome around here! I've been cut a lot of slack in my life and it has taught me that judgement is no substitution for understanding. There is no way for me to know what the world looks like to a neuro-classical person. I've come to recognize that a non-divergent can't know the neurodivergent's world, either. The point is, that's normal. That's fine. If you think about it, that's how our eyes work. Each eye sees a different view of the world. But what gives them depth is how they work together. I'm going to roll with that. I'm doing fine and hope you are too! I'll follow up with a cheerier post soon, no worries!

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You are amazing and my heart breaks that you had this experience on the cusp of graduation - all we can be is ourselves and you make yourself and others so happy with your passion, skill and incredible diligence - if I have learned nothing else in more than 50 years it is what makes us good at something also makes us bad at something else and while knowing that there are challenges inherent in that I am still going to embrace it/myself etc because these are our gifts and who we are and how we are and how we live - and that is good and beautiful and our contribution to the be universe! All of which is to…

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